Dry January Challenge
Framing Dry January as a challenge certainly sounds better, doesn’t it, than a resolution? That always feels so ponderous and sort of overwhelming to me, just the word itself. And it implies a sort of foreverness. A challenge, though, sounds kind of fun, kind of motivating. Something one could rise to.
What Difference Does it Make?
Isn’t this just a light-weight, pseudo resolution shortened into something bite-sized? Sort of. I looked up these words, because they seem different to me but I wasn’t sure why. According to Merriam Webster, a resolution and a promise are the same. A resolution is a declaration, a decision. A promise, however, it seems clear from personal experience, can be broken. I don’t suppose it should be that way, but we take these lightly, often, and especially the quiet promises we make to ourselves.
What about a goal? That sounds serious, too, and it also sounds so well-defined. Like it’s a real thing, with specificity and characteristics and measures. And a challenge, according to the dictionary, has a little more weight than I associate with it.
So How Are You Doing?
In any case, where are you in this challenge for the month? If it’s going great, FANTASTIC! Enjoy. Look around at all the things you don’t pay attention to when you’re drinking, or activities that you feel under the weather for or whatever. Have some fun! You can explore literally anything you want that isn’t drinking or your drug/behavior of choice! Try stuff. Maybe you’ll find something fun. Sometimes we don’t even know what we like anymore, we’re so used to just drinking to mark all events in our lives.
Is This as Good as it Gets?
Now, if this is not you, and you’re feeling discouraged or flat right now, hang on!!! Don’t get waylaid just yet. I think there often comes a point where it seems like too much trouble to keep going, and falling back into our old patterns just seems more reasonable. We’ll keep doing “better,” and “keep an eye on ourselves,” but we aren’t really in the right mental place for this right now, there’s a lot going on … WAIT!! Don’t do this to yourself. Yes, it’s not miraculous. You won’t suddenly feel like a million bucks overnight or in a week, but give yourself a chance! It takes time to reap the benefits of any lifestyle change. 31 days is in some ways just a beginning. It can be something discrete, on its own, the challenge, but what is its purpose for you beyond that?
A week or two is great, but why not see what a month feels like? You’re not missing out on anything. You can get back to your normal routines if you like; booze, your old habits will all be waiting for you if you want to return to them. But maybe hang on just a little longer and see what happens.
I can tell you that people report, and I have witnessed a pretty radical shift mood-wise in people between that first and say, third week. It can be quite miraculous -- even for people who are absolutely expecting that it will make no difference.
What If You’ve Slipped?!
Don’t panic!!! Again, let’s think about why you’re doing this. You are somewhere along the spectrum of feeling like you need to and challenging yourself to see where you are. You may have been surprised that it was harder than you thought, or you may not have really been able to really tap into that motivation.
So, first, why not just continue! It’s a challenge, not a do or die oath, whatever we want to call it. Something didn’t go to plan. That happens all the time in life, not just with this! So what next. Continuing on is a good option. What if you did that and didn’t have a perfect month, but had an excellent month. Didn’t drink for almost all of it?
What tripped you up this time? How can you better prepare for that? How can you handle a similar situation differently?
If drinking is a long-standing habit, it may take more than a single effort to really get things going. There’s no shame in that. Do you need to step down more slowly? Do you need some medical help -- inpatient or outpatient detox, possibly? Would naltrexone help (the drug that reduces cravings)?
If it was more of a mental/mood type of thing, give that a little thought. Try to take a small step back, and ask yourself what you were wanting to get out of this. Did it answer a question for you? Did it make you think about anything a little differently? That’s a success. But this doesn’t have to be a win/fail type of situation. So, if you can’t have “perfection,” in this endeavor, what can you get out of it? Can you get one great week under your belt from here and then reassess?
Is Dry January a Challenge, a Promise, a Resolution, or a Goal for You? And What Does That Mean?
So what’s the real question here? Is this about crafting the perfect promise/resolution/challenge for yourself? Taking a goal, say the 30 days and hitting that no matter what? “Winning” the competition, so to speak?
Is it about really taking a look at your relationship with alcohol and seeing how it feels without it for a bit? Is it an attempt to jump-start a longer streak, or a firmer decision in the future? Are you trying to do a reset, to get back to more moderate drinking? Are you jumping onto the opportunity to try without so much stigma about whether you have a problem? So what is this telling you? What would you like to adjust?
Are you looking to find an answer to whether or not you want to continue drinking? Praying that this will give you a much-needed start to something you already know you should do? Just undertaking it as a challenge, maybe a little bit of a test?
These are all great reasons, and whatever you learn will help you from here. So whatever you had in mind and wherever you are now,
“Do not allow setbacks to set you back,” Stacey Abrams
I bring all this up because the whole fear of failure and coping with actual failure when we undertake a challenge (or any of these), particularly one that takes place over time, is hard. It can set us back worse than we started out, it seems. It can crush our spirit. Convince us that it’s not worth trying. Affirm any doubts we have about ourselves and our ability to make decisions and carry through.
But we don’t have to fall prey to that! Take courage. Be encouraged! We can frame this any way we want and orient it towards improving our lives. With THAT as the goal, challenge, promise or resolution, I think we can’t fail, no?
